Happy Birthday Dolly, and Dip My Set...

Darshelle a.k.a Dada, a.k.a, Dolly, a.k.a the "weavetress" had a birthday on Sunday.  Since all of the girls couldn't get together then, we had a great dinner at Ruth Chris last night.  Is Dolly's bang over or what?  I wish you were there so you could have gotten into all of those layers and that movement.  If anyone needs the bomb weave call Dolly, she will hook a sister up...

My sister Hadi giving face down...

Oh Gosh, the number one and two pot stirrers of the D.C., Maryland, and V.A. area were there, Jon and Abena.  Abena had on the most over corset belt of life.  It cinched her waist DOWN!

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O.K., so my last boyfriend was Shawn Springs if I'm not mistaken?  I honestly don't wanna let him go, but I think I love Juelz Santana?  It's different this time, really...

You guys know I'm a true hip-hop head, and Juelz has just released a new mixtape called "The Skull Game Takeover".  I've always loved Santana's flow, but he goes in on quite a few songs.  He freestyles over the Lil' Wayne "Got Money" beat, and you don't ever want a day of his flow on "Body like a Maserati".  Besides, those dimples dent my soul every time he smiles.  

What in the panty liner is going on here?  Get the fuck off my man!

Ooooh, I like sandwiches!

What Rhymes With Ike...?

I was having a quiet bite to eat at my local eatery the other day and saw this.  The biggest most stereotypical lesbian ever.  This dyke was so over, from her, I mean his, purple Crocs up to his rectangular D&G frames.   I'm almost wishing I was an "L" word so I could hook-up with him.  I bet she, I mean he, would eat my pussy for blood.  I mean eat it so violently, and then whatever was left-over, put it in a tupperware container and finish me off when she, I mean he, got home. I'm talking a championship pussy eater, a gold medal winner.  I'm talking some Michael Phelps Olympic type pussy eating.  Like it's her, I mean his, mother-fuckin' job.   His sports-bra and back pack also slayed me.  I live! 

Scratch And Sniff...

What in the drive cross-country Grateful Dead 1971 haven't showered in
weeks I play in a cover band hippy shit is going on here? They were
spotted on 14th St the other day grabbing a bit of a bite. The plates
on the tags said California, and it definitely looked as if they were
doing the whole "Drive Cross-Country For Less Than 5 Dollars A Day"
thing. The van had piles of clothes and trash thrown all around, and
I didn't get close enough, but I could swear to you that it smelled
like "dissy". Lord help 'em.

Celebrity Sighting, Biff and Buffy, and My Boyfriend of the Day...

What in the Disney Channel, pose half-way nude in a W photo-shoot with your country singer father, millionaire teenage girl Miley Cyrus shit is going on here?  I kept screaming, "Miley", but she didn't respond.  Im sure it was her, aren't you?

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Look at Biff and Buffy.  They are so happy in their little sweater vest and khakis.  Due to a little 5 syllable word called "gentrification", Biff and Buffy can roam the once mean streets of Washington, D.C. freely. Biff just made partner.  Buffy quit her job at her non-profit to decorate their new 3 bedroom loft on 14th St.  The last piece to complete their perfect life puzzle would be a baby.  Every time Buffy's mother comes to visit from Connecticut she asks when will she hear the pitter-patter of little feet around.  

Who has the heart to tell Buffy's mom that Biff likes chicks with dicks?  Any takers?  No one...?  It seems that Buffy hired a private investigator and Biff wasn't really working overtime on cases at the office.  He was on K. Street, just a little further down shopping for black trannies.  For now Buffy will just suck it up and make a big 'ol jug of lemonade out of the lemons life has given her.  Besides, she likes her "perfect" life...

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Sorry Jason Taylor, I know it's kinda greasy to work my way around the team, but hey...?  Shawn Springs is definitely my new boyfriend.  It seems that the Redskins are off to a good start.  Look at Shawn, he looks like somebody hit him in the face with a block of fudge--just as chocolately!  And I sure as hell am not John Meyer, but his body is a wonderland!  Get in!  Call me boy!

Is that bitch in the background looking at my man?  If she knows the Lord, she might not wanna play with my man!  

Weekend Wrap-Up...

Right, So Friday I had the absolute worst day at work.  I literally wanted to jump off of something--nothing too high though.  Everyone and everything worked my goddamn nerves.  I needed a cocktail and a bite, so I went to Ruth Chris.  Jonathan and Abena were there.  Abena was wearing turquoise embellished boots and a wide hip slung belt with a skinny jean.  I actually don't believe she was wearing a top, at least if she was i didn't see it.  We ate dinner and moved to the bar for more cocktails.  Abena is a "pot stirrer" and wanted to go to Ozio, but i fleeced.  

Saturday at work was so-so.  Afterwork i decided to grab a bite.  I had a taste for Thai.  I went to Thai Tanic and sat at the bar.  Sitting right beside me was a tall brown skinned dreaded piece.  He pulled out my bar stool for me, and told me that i looked nice as a true gentleman should.  His name was Patrick, he was from San Fran, and he was here for a conference.  We chatted--yada yada yada, woo woo woo.  I just couldn't see giving him my number, so i fleeced.  I don't want a cross-country love.  

Skip to yesterday when I conjured Joey for a meal.  He chose Utopia on U st.  The food was amazing.  They have a seafood bisque that punished me!  It was over!  My cunt Lucy came to meet looking like a poster child for Burberry.  Her quote of the night had to be, "Right, I always give the girls Burberry, but the tea is that my pieces are always contoured!".  Joey got life from her, and said that she was spitting more gay lingo than any gay man he had ever come into contact with.  

After dinner, Joey and I fleeced to Lizard Lounge at Lima.  It was dead boot.  We walked across the street to Lotus for the new "boys" party.  I knew it was going to be a problem because as soon as we walked in, there was a striper in a cage.  Also the "special guest" for the night was a porn star named "Cornbread".  Cornbread gave you body all day long, but I'm thinking he was a big 'ol bottom.  All of the girls were there twirling, including Dwayne--he is over!  After that we went to check out the people at Park.  It was cute, there was trade boot.  One thought I was the cunt and tried to grab my ass, Joey got life!  Last night was also my girl Laura's b-day.  She dropped a bomb on me last night and told me that her long time boyfriend Gilbert Arenas finally proposed to her.  The ring between you and me was a million dollars!  It is over!  Congrats girl!

You get to wake up next to that fine ass thing every morning...Oooh Gil.

Have a great day, see you guys tomorrow...

2 Trades, 2 Dates, One Me..., and Sorry T.I...

Well, it's been an interesting couple of days.  Wednesday after work I had enjoyed a nice meal at POSH, and was walking home talking to Norman over the phone.  A very dapper older gentlemen walked by and gave me "the look".  I spoke, but turned around to see if I knew him.  He actually looked like a family friend that I hadn't seen in years.  At this point, I'm on the other side of the street (with Normie still at my ear) and he beckons for me to come back.  I couldn't see doubling back to talk to a man.  I shook my head no, and he proceeded to dodge the Massachusetts Ave. traffic for me.  I told Norman that I would call him back, and then I clutch for my mace...lol.  He didn't look like the type, but if he was going to try it, I was gonna paint his mother-fuckin' face red.  "I'm sorry, but I just couldn't pass up the opportunity to meet you", he says as he extends his hand for a shake.  "Who are you, and why are you stalking young boys on the street?", I said.  That broke the ice.  

His name is Phillip, he was here on business from Ohio, late 40's possibly early 50's (he still hasn't told me his age).  He works in the corporate office for Cintas--the uniform and corporate supplies company.  We talked outside for a bit, but I told him that I had to go in and decompress from work.  He had mentioned that we perhaps go out for a possible drink, but we talked on the phone until midnight, and I couldn't see leaving my house to meet a man then--I'm a lady...lol. 

 So yesterday I met him at his hotel and we went to Busboys.  It was cute--the food was good, and the conversation was great.  He travels quite often for work, and extended an invitation for me to meet him in whatever city he's in--on him of course.  He drove me back to my house and wouldn't let me get out.  He said what a nice date it was, and held onto my hand for dear life.  I broke free of his clutches and escaped.  He flew out yesterday, and promised to call today.  I'll keep you guys updated.  

Second guy is the guy from last week that forced me to take a "vacation day" from blogging.  His name is Randy, and he is the 33 year old dreaded Benning Road trade.  He came over last night to chill and watch t.v., a.k.a make out.  Around quarter after 1 I kicked him out, because he was getting too frisky--he got life, and called me when he got home to apologize.  He's says that he couldn't help himself.  Whatever.  

I've definitely had two dates in one day before, but I'm shooting for three.  It was kinda over...  

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O.K., I know that Larry Johnson was my boyfriend day before, and T.I. was my boyfriend yesterday--we'll I've dumped them both for Jason Taylor.  He is here in D.C. now, so my odds are higher.  This 6' 6" piece of man was spotted in Tyson's II mall shopping at an upscale men's boutique.  He apparently is proud of his physique, because he bared his chest for all to see.  

I never used 'Dancing with the Stars", but he could dance with my star any day.   Chirp me boy!  "Where you at?"...

Have a great weekend...

Fried, Dyed, and Layed To The Side, Train-Wrecked, and Break-Ups Aren't Easy...

Oh My!  Now is this ovah or what?  Not those hot tools in the club bathroom?  I actually hope most clubs install these in all women's bathrooms.  Now there is absolutely no excuse for girls to look crazy after they sweat out their hair.  What the shade would really be is, if there was a full working salon in the bathroom, and the cunt came out with a make-over.  I would get life if my girl emerged from the restroom with layers to frame her face and highlights.  So this means that the men's restroom needs a barber in there to tighten up their shape-up, or if you're from B-more you could get a "beijing"?   I live! 

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I don't know if ya'll see it, or maybe I'm just trippin'?  Is that Shirley from 'What's Happening'?  If it's not her, she is definitely conjuring her likeness.  Wasn't it ovah that Shirley was a big 'ol militant butch dyke on that show.  I bet she got her man (well women) in her day.  She was probably pulling bitches like WHAT!  I would have perhaps had Shirley for her coin?  I would have combed out her afro for filth!

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O.K., so I'm over Larry Johnson and I'm on to T.I.  I mean, he does have a new c.d. coming out on Sept. 30 called 'Paper Trail'.  Also if any of you have not gotten into "Swagger Like Us" from the album feat. Ms. Kanyeshia, Jay-Z, and Lil Wayne, you must immediately.  It's fiyah, and so is my husband of the day T.I.  I just have to find a way to get rid of that girl of his.  She's like a roach, she just won't die.  Text me Boy!

Ooooh, Can I really have whatever I like?

Boy, stop being crazy!  Let me buy your guns next time.  I'm gonna hook you up, I'm talking automatics, semi automatics, rifles, silencers, night sticks, night vision.  Do you need some hand grenades, cause I can get you some?

If he beat me, I would think about staying...(Im kidding...)

Mace-on Betha, and Ooooh Larry...

Is it not enough that I have to worry about random acts of violence, now I have to worry about a resurgence of gay bashing?  Are we kidding?  There have been three cases of violence against members of the gay community within the past month.  Two incidents have occurred less than two blocks away from my home.  Right, so the other day I purchased a can of pepper spray. I'm also in the market for a very sleek lady-like stun gun, you know, something that goes from day to night and can fit easily into a clutch...  Anyways, ever since I purchased this pepper spray I have the urge to use it.  I swear I was gonna  mase the hell out the barista at Starbucks yesterday--she fucked up my drink order.  Wouldn't it be over if I just started masing everyone in site?  I'm talking at work, kids at restaurants, and especially those commuter women who change into sneakers after work?

I'm just waiting for the first fucking homophobe to yell "faggot" at me, I swear to you that after the electric shocks piercing his nervous system, and the mase burning and staining his face that he'll think twice.  They've pissed off the wrong fag now!  Isn't it legal to carry a gun in D.C. now?  Hmmm....

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Ladies and gentleman, my boyfriend Larry Johnson.  Larry plays for the Kansas City Chiefs.  Besides being best buds with "Jiggaman", he is also linked to that ho Julissa, former host of 106 and Park.  All I know is she better stay away from my man before I mase her.  Get into Larry's broad shoulders, and those dimples that make you wanna whip him up a  pancake or two in the morning.  He can N-F my L anyday!  Call me Larry...

Ooooh, It's the Roc bitch...

Oooh, can you spray that on me like Damon Dash sprayed that video girl in the "Big-Pimpin" video?  

Holy shit To-to, I don't believe we're in Kansas anymore?

Fashion Week Wrap-Up...

Straight from Fashion Week Chinatown, D.C.

Hello All, and I Hope everyone had an amazing weekend.  I apologize for taking a vacation day on Friday, but I was just too tired to type.  I hadn't slept all night.  The trade was trying to dip his  oatmeal cookie in my 2 percent milk all night, so I was fighting off dick. Isn't that the worst? I couldn't see him "getting the best of me".  There is more on that later, but I promised a quick overview of the Spring/Summer 2009 collections.  Every six months (and also for cruise/resort) I'm glued to my computer screen to see what we will be wearing for the next season.  In true faggy fashion, this week I anticipated something amazing, something to stand out and be "sick"--there was nothing.  Don't get me wrong, the clothes were beautiful, just nothing to max out your American Express for.  O.K. here goes...

Dresses, dresses, dresses!  They definitely ruled the runway for Spring/Summer '09.  The silhouettes were mainly loose and flowing, very similar to last year.  Here is a cute look from hot chick Rachel Roy.

Here is Miss Kanyeshia looking very cute in her little suit.  This is pre-jail.  Did anyone see that queen go off on the paparazzi?  She lost it!  She was flailing around with her Damier back-pack on, throwing cameras to the ground and shit like she hadn't taken her meds.  Ooooh Lady...

Here is Miss Diddy and Miss Rachel "I Die" Zoe backstage at Zac Posen.  I live for Diddy. 

 Speaking of Zac Posen, here is a look from his collection.  More dresses...  

Abaete was definitely a stand out for me.  The dresses were cute, and had an 80's flair to them.  The dresses were voluminous, but didn't go over-board like last season.  

Carlos Miele showed beautiful dresses in what to be the colors for Spring '09--soft pastels.  Last Spring/Summer our colors were very loud highlighter pastels.  If you were scared of those bright colors last year, then this will be definitely suit you well.

Soft and easy to wear separates were also huge on the runway.  Yigal Azrouel has always given you an ovah separate.  His pieces are great to layer with, and to build around. 

Miss Marc Jacobs' collections was different.  I enjoyed it's aesthetic.  The colors worked well together and the fabrics looked amazing and wearable.  There was a slight Asian influence with the sashes.  It was among one of my favorite collections.  

Purple has definitely carried over into Spring/Summer, but instead of the jewel tones we are wearing for Fall the colors are more muted--mauves and lavenders.  Here is a beautifully draped gown from Rodarte.  I'm sure we will see some cunt in this on the red carpet in the near future.  You saw it here first...lol

Christian "Fierce" Siriano may have something going here.  He needs a couple of years to season out, and to find his niche, but he may have what it takes.  I can definitely see his influences from Vivienne Westwood and Alexander McQueen, two places were he held brief internships.  He really knows how to make a sexy yet wearable garment.  The only thing he needs to do is get rid of that asymmetric hair and stop saying "fierce" all the time like he coined it, and I think we'll be just fine.

Happy Monday!

Vacation Day...

I couldn't see blogging today, I just couldn't see it! Stop by on
Monday for the official Fashion Week "wrap-up". Oh, and free Kanye
West!

Have a great weekend...

Sent from my iPhone

You Know Who's Ovah...?

Look out Eva, the girls are about to come for your man...Why does he look like this?  I never felt this way about him before until these pics...He is truly ovah!  

Lance Gross Is the ruler!  It is cute for your little shirtless underwear showing pic, but you could never EVER come for Nelly...!  Get it right now!

photos: ybf

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How many of you all watched Good Times?  If you did, then I'm sure you were in love with the town gossip Willona.  She was over!  They lived in the projects, and Willona never ever wore the same thing twice.  Her hair game was always on point, and of course she was the ruler for taking in our sweet baby Penny!  The nerve of her mother burning her like that!  

Somebody Get This Baby, Pussy Got My Tongue, and Mama When I Grow Up I Wanna Be Ovah...

I don't know if baby Nahla was trying to come for me or what off the little baby hair, but she needs to stop it.  I mean, I can do my baby hair like that.  Also, is it me, or is the baby trying to "give face" in this picture?  I don't know, maybe it's just me?

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Ms. Jay photographed earlier this week at the tent for the Fashion Week Shows.  Ms. Jay looks like...You know what I'm not even gonna read her! Let me be quiet!

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When I was just a young lad, I would tell my mama that I wanted to be a doctor when I grew up. Not that I wanted to be a doctor, it's just what mothers wanna hear. I didn't wanna disappoint her and tell her the truth--that I wanted to MARRY a doctor and stay home with me and my partner's adopted Malaysian baby, have a house in D.C., a condo in New York (downtown of course), a vacation home in St. Barth, and investment properties in Atlanta, L.A., and Miami. That would probably be too much to hear from a 9 year old, but trust me, I was already thinking it by then. It seems like only yesterday? What did you guys want to be when you all grew up?

Thank you Joey for inspiring my post today...

It's Fashion Week...

Wouldn't it be ovah if I made this cute? Maybe put a little belt on
her, or even cut out the neck-line and make it off the shoulder? It
actually is very Yohji/Victor & Rolf, don't you think? Join me later
on in the week for a Fashion Week recap where we'll get into Ms.
Kanyeshia West turning the Proenza show. He has to be a queen! Oh,
and let me know if any of you would like one of these get-ups. I
failed to mention that it has matching pants!