T.I., What is IT...?, and Make IT Stop...

Have you seen T.I. in this recent pic of him performing?  The trade was getting so much life that he wanted to show the people his nappy ass bush.  T.I. is the father of my octuplets (more on that later) and all, but he needs to get some perm to that carpet.  If he doesn't wanna perm it, some brown gel will do.

No shade, but I bet he won't be so eager to show his pubes in a few months when his ass will serve that year sentence.  They are about to go straight OZ on his ass in that joint.  Can't you hear him on the phone with his wife Tiny now... "Yo Ma, why they gotta fuck me like that....?  Yo, that's some fucked up shit, ya heard?" 

Oooooh, "Live your Life" T.I....

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This is a woman on the train the other day...(blank stares).  I don't even know where to start.  I couldn't tell if she was already heavily medicated, or needed medication.  We all know how cold it's been here in D.C., with that in mind, please look at her choice of footwear.  At one point she even took a phone call, and every third word was "mother-fucker".  If that wasn't "klassy" enough, she devoured a full meal on the train, complete with a cup of joe to wash it down.  I thought someone was taping for Keisha Cole's 'The Way It Is', but there were no cameras.  Oh Well...  Tina Marie?

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A lady in California recently gave birth to octuplets.  The babies were born prematurely, and weigh on average a pound a piece.  The woman who is still unidentified, was said to become pregnant through IVF.  Here is the kicker though, the bitch already has 6 kids at home.  She lives with her mother, and ain't got man the first.  This is why our ass in a recession.  Our government has to take care of women who act like animals and have excessive amounts of children.  They bite a fucking piece of leather, plop the kids out, and then they're our problem until they're 18.  When I walk through "the hood" on my day off, all I see is girls with babies trailing behind them in tallest to shortest height order.  You mean this cunt gets rewarded for spreading her legs and getting fucked?  So let me get this right, she doesn't have to work...?  Well where the hell is my reward?  For as many times as I've spread my legs, the government hasn't given me shit.  I'll live off WIC and food stamps, then I'd take my checks twice a month to buy Birkin bags and Louboutins.  I'd be the beatest bitch on WIC.  Get into that.

Im done now, Sorry...

Happy Superbowl Weekend... Good Luck Troy!

Recessions Make Me Mad When..., Men's Fashion Week Standout, and Let's Hear It For My Boy...

If it's not enough that yesterday Target announced the lay-off of 1,000 employees, now the recession is fucking with the couture shows?  We've always known world and current events to trickle down to fashion, for example the great Wall Street crash of 1929.  We saw hemlines go way below the knee which was a huge contrast from the flapper looks of the early twenties.  Fashion was more subdue, and a little drab at times.  There was a huge concentration on sewing at home.  That's why the Vogue patterns were such a hit.  

On the other end of the spectrum in the 80's everything was big in fashion.  Big hair, big shoulder pads, and bright vibrant colors mirrored the opulent high rolling 80's.  

Which brings us to this fucking mess of a recession in 2009.  If you love fashion, as I do, you love the couture shows.  It's such a fantasy.  I watch in amazement and gawk at these overly adorned costume-like outfits.  Socialites and various dignitaries purchase the garments, and fashion publications have a field day shooting them.  This year, most designers couldn't even participate in the couture shows because there was no money!  Besides the production of the shows, normally each couture outfit cost on average $20,000.  That's a lot of money when you're showing 20 looks.  For the designers who did show, the garments that paraded down the runway lacked the showmanship of prior years.  There was a dramatic cut down on lesage (bead work), and hand work.  

Of course my bank account has been affected in major ways by this messed up recession, but I always had couture.  Now the recession is fucking with my fantasies, I can't take it...!

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Speaking of fashion, Men's Fashion Week popped off in Paris.  Ms. Kanye is still over there acting a fool.  Get into this Fall '09 look from Thierry Mugler.

...now get into this shrug like over jacket at Raf.  I live!

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...speaking of living for something.  Congrats to my husband Troy Polamolu for making that Superbowl thing.  I'm just happy I get to watch that hair cascade from under his helmet for 3 hours straight.  Who's bringing over the 7 layer dip? 

Weekend Wrap-Up, Now Does Anyone Believe Me?, Sorry Syd, and My First Family...

Are you guys ready for my weekend wrap-up...?  This weekend I worked, and it sucked!  Oh no, that's it...

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If you guys haven't heard about Ms. Kanyesha's newest.  She was reported to have said that she was interested in doing porn.  She said that she would be interested in doing "bisexual scenes with another man and a women, or two women and myself" (drop the wine glass).  

Now she has gone too far.  Last week she wanted to pose nude, now she wants to do porn.  She is feeling real sexy these days.  I would get major life if I caught her out in a porn with a blonde hair piece on like Kim's from Atlanta Housewives, and a pair of Nike dunks.  His "co-star" would be Double R, and we all know what that would give (If you're not a gay man, this is where you google gay porn Double R).  Double R would have Kanye taking dick bent over a bicycle with a banana in his mouth.  I honestly don't think we're too far from seeing it.  Stay tuned...

 

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Sorry Syd, but I had to do it... 6' 11"?  Gold medalist?  Dwight Howard is the ruler.  I was reminded how much of the ruler he was after coming across this random pic of him online.  Not only does he look like someone covered him in extra virgin olive oil and stuck him out in the sun to bake, but his smile is killer.  Again Syd, I hope there is no bad blood for me doing this, but that's the way love goes...lol.

If I found out that this cunt loved him long time, I will fuck her up...

What did India Arie say, "Maybe you're from Mississippi or and Island..?"  She ain't never lied!

Oooop...!

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These are random pics from Inauguration released from the White House this weekend.  Look at my President about to leave the house to attend the balls.  He is the ultimate family man.  You can just tell that those girls love him.  One of my favorite images from the actual Inauguration was Sasha giving her dad the thumbs up.  It's so cute, I can't stand it.  I hate kids though...(I'm kidding, not really.  I like them though, and my nephew Jaden, and Brad and Angelina's twin that was born first.  I also like Pebbles from the Flinstone's, her ponytail was ovah...that's it though).

Did you guys know that MY president was Black?

Inauguration Teas...

All that I can say is "Wow"!  What an amazing week.  I witnessed history first hand.  It's like someone shoved my narrow ass into a history book and shut it.  I still can't believe I witnessed the first African American President of the United States being sworn in.  It still feels so freakin' surreal, like Salvador Dali himself painted a picture of the day. The events of the this week were definitely inspirational.  Obama has lots of work to do in order to change the inertia of government.  He needs our support, and most importantly our prayers to wash the graffiti off of the United States defaced walls.  Hopefully soon our country will feel like it did before, our economy will jump start, and people can feel proud to be American.  We've "popped a U" in the middle of the street, and now I feel like we're moving in the right direction.

...and now for the parties

So you thought that D.C. wasn't gonna party?  Chocolate City--First Black President?  Chile Please!

My brother Borzou had a party at his uncle's restaurant on Saturday night.  The turn out was amazing, we had such a good time, and my scarf was OVER!  

Later on that night, we went to PARK on 14th.  The door was a little hectic, but once in, the party was cute.  We partied hard until the wee hours.  OUR PRESIDENT IS BLACK...

I was actually supposed to work the next day, but I called in because OUR PRESIDENT IS BLACK...  I relaxed all day, and watched the free concert on the mall.  I saw Beyonce perform in the black leather gloves that Tina Knowles bought from my store on Saturday.  Tina is the ruler, and her Prada riding boots slayed me!

I ran around all day on Monday doing errands in a packed city.  There were so many streets closed off, and people were EVERYWHERE.  I went sofa shopping, and found the perfect sofa.  The salesman told me that because of the Inauguration festivities, that I had to wait.  I looked at him straight faced and asked "Why am I being punished?".  He got life, and I had my sofa in house on Monday afternoon.  

Later in the day my friend from college Rashad called and told me to meet him at a party that GLAAD was throwing at BeBar.

Things were a little crazy around the house with the sofa delivery and all, but I managed to twirl.  I had to go being that I missed Rashad while I was in New York, because of conflicting work schedules.  I especially had to go because I had to meet Jamaul, which is Rashad's partner and new fiance.  Congrats guys, and I liked the noir/blanc combo Jamaul.

That's my friend Danielle from college as well.  Rashad and Danielle used to date.  (crickets)  After the party, I hit it to my favorite spot Ruth Chris.  There were many jokes at the bar, and the out-of-town trade were OVER!  I got my usual, and hit it.  I wanted to make it home early to rest up for Inauguration Day.  

Sister Natalie called my bright and early and told me to twirl down to the Capitol.  I could have walked, but I wanted to make it in time.  I caught a rickshaw.  As soon as I stepped foot off the rickshaw, and reached into my back pocket to pay him, I realized that I had left EVERYTHING at home.  Sister didn't have any cash on her either.  The "aggressive pan-handling rickshaw driver" made my sister walk to 4 ATM machines.  Most of them were out of cash due to the large crowds.  We finally found one and paid the asshole.  Sorry Sister...

Wow, what an amazing visual.  Go head Michelle with your J. Crew gloves...

The energy there at the Capitol was infectious.  Everyone was so nice.  It was reported that there wasn't  single arrest.  I said OUR PRESIDENT IS BLACK...

What a great shot this was.  I was walking home down Massachusetts, and saw droves of people walking home down the interstate.  All major roadways into the city were closed off, and only open to pedestrians, lesbians, and authorized vehicles...lol.

Let me tell you how D.C. was getting their coin on.  This little boy set up a hot cocoa stand, and charged a dollar a cup.  His station was all equipped with a fully functioning microwave.  That's the next Donald Trump right there...

After fighting the crowds all day, I was exhausted.  I came home and relaxed.  Later on I watched Beyonce sing for our new President and First Lady.  She looked beautiful, and sounded amazing.  

Later that night Normie and I went to a private party held at Artefacto, a huge art space in Georgetown.  

There was amazing Obama artwork from artist all over the United States.  The band that played the music for 'Cadillac Records' was there and rocked the house.  The one and only MC Lyte was D.J. as well because OUR PRESIDENT IS BLACK...

That's my sweet child Yaneek, and her man Mike.

Look at those sweet babies...

Oh, one more thing...OUR PRESIDENT IS BLACK!

Who's The Baddest Bitch...?, I Don't See What The Problem Is..., and Ehh Bay Bay Lebron

Look, just look at that bitch!  She is the fucking ruler.  She couldn't see being a size 2.  She gives, "Oh no, I'm full" at every meal before she even touches a fork.  This is Victoria Beckham posing seductively in the new spring '09 Giorgio Armani lingerie ads. 

Her body is sick, her bag game is ridiculous, and she has one of the most over trades in Hollywood.  I live!  Thank goodness they moved to the U.S., now Posh can show these American bitches how to dress.  She is repulsed at the thought of ever wearing a flat, and that's the way it should be.  

Birkin anyone...?

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If you guys haven't heard already, NBA'er Eddy Curry is being sued by his ex driver for sexual harassment.  The driver says that the 6 foot 11 basketball player would expose himself and make the driver look at his penis.  Also, allegedly Curry jerked off in the car while the driver was driving and made the driver remove his "cum rags" so his wife wouldn't see.  

I mean, am I being naive, but I don't know what he's suing for (blank stare and crickets).  I can drive.  I can be a driver.  Why don't I apply for that job, I must have missed that one on Monster.com.  Fuckin prudes man...

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Look at this sweet baby Lebron.  Don't he look just as handsome on his GQ cover.  He looks just like a fashion model--yes he does.  

Have a great weekend people.  I'm sure there will be lots of tea to spill on Monday with all of the carrying ons in DC.  Trust me, it will be a show...

Harder? Faster? Stronger?

Have you guys heard yet about Ms. Kanyesha's latest?  In the February edition of VIBE magazine Ms. Kanye says that she wants to pose nude?  Is she kidding me?  She says that he wants to "break stereotypes".  I'm all about stereotype breaking, but that sounds like some faggy ass shit to me.  I wouldn't even say any mess like that, and god forbid a trade.  Can you imagine?  The trade doesn't even like to get naked first of all.  I dated a guy once, and I don't ever think I saw him completely naked, even during sex.  The trade can't see entirely disrobing.  Ms. Kanye also says that within the next couple of years after she works out and gets her body right, it will be a go.  Can't you just see the cover now?  It's gonna look just like the infamous Rolling Stone cover with Janet.  Who is going to cover Ms. Kanyesha's breast though?

Ooooop Guuuuuurl!

Weekend Wrap-Up, and Damn Braylon...

Sup Fuckers, the weekend was pretty cool.  After work on Friday, Normie and I went to see 'Not Easily Broken', the new T.D. Jakes movie.  Bishop Jakes better stop playin'.  I don't think the Lord called him to make movies.  That's definitely not a ministry he should pursue.   

Not only was the plot line boring, Taraji Henson blew me with bad acting, and I also missed the only shirtless scene of Morris Chestnut's.  Not to mention we went to Chinatown to see it, and it was kinda urban--well besides the extremely overweight white man that Norman sat me by who was breathing so heavily throughout the movie.  I kept my cell close because I didn't know if I had to dial 911 or not.  Norman didn't think the movie was that bad, but I'm gonna have to put it on a worst list right above Monique's "Phat Girlz".  Sorry Bishop...

Anyways, Saturday work was work.  Later on that night, I had plans to travel to VA to a lounge for a co-workers birthday.  We went to Guarapo at Arlington Courthouse.  

That's Ms. Thomas on the far left, it was her birthday.  She twirled!  The place was cute, and we had a blast.

My brother Borzou came out to play along with my sister Nik.

This is me competing in the "Strongest Queen Ever" competition.  Don't get it twisted, I'm a small piece of leather, but I'm well put together.  You know what, at second glance it kinda looks like I'm giving my brother a prostate exam.  I'll post the results tomorrow...

Yesterday I was a little out of it at work.  I don't think the food agreed with me from Saturday night, because it made me do some very unlady-like things on the toilet if you know what I mean.  Only because my stomach was in knots, the day seemed to drag on for weeks.  It was the longest day ever.  I finally found myself in bed watching the boring Golden Globes and eating Moby Dick's.  Oh no, its the name of a carryout, not a trade.  

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I don't even have to say anything besides damn Braylon Edwards!  You know I likes me a trade in a suit.  He definitely wears it well.  

He also wears this well too...

Ooop!  He had to do this picture for the queens.  We know your number boy!  

Oh no, I wasn't prepared to move to Cleveland...

Ooooop..., and Hmmmmm.....

Ms. Pharell?

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So last night MTV premiered 'Real World Brooklyn' .  Among the 8 cast members, one is a transgendered male to female post op.  

Did MTV try it?  I believe they did.  Following in the footsteps of that drag queen Tyra Banks, another network is using a transgendered person for ratings.  Tyra knew good and well that Isis's ass wasn't gonna win no damn 'Top Model'.  They just wanted "middle America" to gawk at a tranny.  Lesbians and gays have lost their allure, now television execs must up the ante by parading transexuals across my screen.  I'm kinda mad, but I'm still gonna watch.  'Real World Brooklyn' airs Wednesday nights at 10.