I don't normally endorse other blogs, because I think mine is the best--this one is pretty major though. Check out my girl Aureta's blog. It chronicles her frequent trips and outfits that will make a bitches neck snap back like a crash test dummy! Get into it here, and make sure to add her to your favorites (right next to me)! Do it bitches, or die! Besos!
Alright, cut the applause! I'm sure you missed Dynasty Wednesday last week just as much as I did. I apologize, I was waist high in Gucci bags and Chanel wallets.
This week's clip starts off with Dominique and Brady played by Billy Dee. Billy Dee had the beatest perm during the show. Call me crazy, but throughout the opening scene of this clip I was waiting for him to pull out a Colt 45 and pour it into a glass to share with Dominique. They were the 80's Jay Z and Beyonce--that Bonnie and Clyde shit. Dominique was like, "Man I got this. You know that white man raped my mama, so I inherited all these coins. Now let's go to Bergdorf and blow some of this shit!" Brady wasn't feeling it, and his insecurities got the best of him, leading to the demise of their relationship, but Dominique could give a good fuck. All she wanted was a closet full of furs, and jewels that would make Liberace turn straight.
At the 2 minute mark get into the tongue lashing between Alexis and Dominique. Alexis says, "Dominique, wasn't there a singing nun by that name?" Dominique replied, "If there was, you'd better start praying to her!" (jumping up and down getting life) The clip is a little over ten minutes long, but make sure you watch the whole thing, the whole snippet is amazing. Besides, ya'll don't have shit to do!
Ho, ho, ho...(you know that has nothing to do with Santa Claus)!
I'm hoping everyone had a great Christamas, and I'm sure if you have kids you are calling to re up on your "happy pill" prescriptions. I could tell everyone that has kids, because their asses were sending me Merry Christmas text messages at damn 5 am.
I went home to visit the family on Thursday night after work. My mom always tries to stuff my butt full of food during my short visits there. As soon as I walked in the door, she started force feeding me turkey breast and stuffing.
On Christmas day I woke up to the smell of breakfast. I'm not used to that anymore, normally I wake up to the smell of the takeout container I left on my bedside table from the night before. After I fucked up some eggs and bacon, I exchanged gifts with my parents (in Kim Zolciak voice: Thank you Big Poppa!) Counting all that cash made me tired, so I decided to go BACK to bed even though I had only been up for an hour or so. Don't judge me!
After I woke up (for the second time), I got ready for the rest of my family to come over. I have a big family, so you could sneak someone into my house for dinner and I don't think anyone would notice. All Blacks look alike anyways, don't they?
After dinner we exchanged gifts and played board games. Jenga and Trouble topped the list. I sat out for the board game portion. Board games have the right name, it's just spelled wrong--Bored games. I don't really have any interest in that. I was trying to convince us to all shop online with my Dad's credit card, but I was shot down. Well, we didn't do it as a family, I just shopped online by myself (of course with my Dad's credit card--what the fuck I look like spending my own money?)
My grand nephew Aiden stopped through. I told him that I liked his "Here Comes Trouble" t shirt. I told him though that I wouldn't have done dark denim, but a mid wash distressed. This is the look he gave me... Do you think he was saying "Shut up bitch" in his head?
This is my mother's angel. She pulls it out every Christmas. The angel looks pretty good for as old as she is. She has to have had work done, because that bitch is old as shit. My mother bought her when I was in grade school, and I ain't no spring chicken. I'm not putting it pass my mother to get plastic surgery done on the decorative angel. I live!
After more eating and more gift exchanging, I headed back into the city. My ass had to work first thing in the morning.
I knew that it would be busy, but I didn't expect a mad house when I got to work on Saturday. As soon as I walked in I got gang banged by a family. One wanted a repair on a bag, the husband wanted to return, another wanted to exchange, and then the others just wanted to worry the hell outta me.
After them I needed Starbuck's. Get into the line that was wrapped around...
All for some fuckin coffee? My ass cut in front of this woman. I acted like I was looking at the pastries and just decided to stay there. I couldn't see her saying anything to me, I had the "Bitch, I will fuck you up if you say anything to me for cutting in the Starbuck's line" look on my face. I got my Caramel Apple Spice, and headed back to the glory hole that I call a job.
I left work on Saturday at 5. There was so much traffic surrounding the malls that it was in grid lock. I said fuck it, and took a $40 cab home.
We were having a party later on that night for Jonathan, Dionne, and Rheanna's birthday. I had shit to do.
The party was held at a venue right around the corner from my house. It was cute. There is Dionne looking like she's posing in an alcohol ad. Happy birthday D!
Lucky for us, 3 doors down this was going on...
Lord knows how trouble always finds us. That is Jonathan getting a lap dance, or throat fucked? I have no clue what was happening...
Part of the cast of 'The Real Housecunts of DC"
Oh yeah, and more of this...
...and a little bit of that. Happy Birthday you white devil, I mean Jonathan.
Back to business as usual, so brunch it was at Creme yesterday.
Here are the guys getting into their magazines. No one told us to bring periodicals, I would have brought Hustler or something.
They're on acid, washed jeans that is...
After brunch we went to Masa 14, and I ate again. I'm so not kidding. Everyone else had drinks, but my ass had the nerve to order two small plates. I have to eat to keep my metabolism going. Wouldn't it be over if I blew up, and next year this time I was the size of 'Precious'?
After Brunch part deux, we went to the movies to see 'Sherlock Holmes'. The movie was alright, I just had "the itis" like shit! No wonder I didn't break my neck from my head bobbing up in down (no homo). I felt like I was narcoleptic.
After the movie, I went straight home and got in bed. After I talked to my boo, I took a nap and woke up to watch 'Keeping Up With The Kardashians'. I missed it at 10, so I taped it at midnite. Which brings me here now. I have soooo much shit to do today that it's not even funny, but my ass is still in bed fuckin' with ya'll. Does anyone wanna go to the Verizon store for me, the grocery store, and pick up my dry cleaning? I'll do everything else. Thanks...
Thank goodness that homeboy plan to blow up the plane the other day went awry. How did they not catch the signs though? He paid for his ticket in cash, and he didn't check any bags. He was also probably holding a sign that said "I'm bout to blow this mother fucker up" as well. I have no idea how he got pass security, and they pretty much fingered my butt hole at security before boarding my flight to Punta Cana. They say that security will be increased now. First the Salahi's crash the White House, and now they're letting mother fuckers on board with bombs and shit? Son, come on? And they made me throw out my BLISS body oil spray before I got onto the plane, chile please.
Get into this fake ass tranny Wendy Williams wannabe bash this girl on You Tube. Why is she smoking a cigarette the whole time? My favorite part is when she says, "You don't mes with my hair or my money". But one question, who gets a remy lace front for $250? And why does she keep saying divas like it's 1996? I got life from this video, don't ask me how I stumbled upon it, just watch!
So yeah. We got a little snow. More on that later. So, first things first, I'm hoping that everyone was snowed in with no food or heat. Also, I'm hoping that the snow hindered you from finishing your children's holiday shopping, and that their Christmas will be ruined. (kidding--kinda)
So, let's start with Wednesday. I had THE absolute worst day. For starters, I was in the worse mood. I had a really heavy flow day. Anyone that saw me that day knew not to fuck with my ass. You know, it was just one of them days (thanks Monica). After work on Wednesday I had to rush home o get ready for the Bilal concert that my boo was taking me to in B-more. Before I went home--just one stop at H&M. All I needed was a dumb pair of gloves, that I was gonna cut to the fingers out of no doubt. Obviously, I picked the wrong line. The checkout girl who inspired a Facebook status, was pregnant ghetto and slow as hell. To the list of adjectives to describe her, could we also add bitchy, annoying, and aloof? Thanks. This pregnant bitch (excuse me Lord) was slow as hell for NO reason at all. She was scanning like one item every damn minute. After every item she scanned, she made sure that she rolled her eyes, and popped her gum.
Was it my fault that she got knocked up, and that she probably has no clue who that big headed fetus' father is? Was it my fault that she doesn't have any clothes that fit her properly (this had nothing to do with the pregnancy by the way. They were waaaayyy to tight pre baby)? Was it my fault that she probably failed her fucking GED because she stayed up the night before her test playing spades instead of studying? Was it my fucking fault? So why did that 'Precious' wannabe make me suffer. If it weren't for that unborn baby, I would write my congressman to get her fired. Ugggghhhhh!!!!!
After the drama at H&M, I rushed home to get ready. We headed up to Baltimore to a cute little venue on the waterfront where the concert was being held. After being in the car for about an hour, and swigging down a bottle of water before I left, I had to hit the little boy's room.
I just wanted to wash my hands. I didn't want condoms--and Magnums at that. Only in Baltimore would the bathroom attendant stock Magnum condoms. I live!
After my restroom adventure, it was time to hear Bilal. He was great. The crowd was really feeling it. Here is a photograph that I took. I'd like to call it "Ghetto Love". (side eye)
I had a great time, even with all of the Coach bags in the room. Who woulda thought?
I was off the next day, and got some much needed rest.
On Friday I worked early and came home to get ready for the snizzow!
My supervisor called me at 7:30 am to tell me that the store was closed. I wanted to tell her, "Hell mutha fuckin yeah, I won't comin' to that bitch no how!" Instead I just said, "Thanks for calling", and then headed downstairs to the cafe to get breakfast.
Later on that night, J and I ventured out to Chinatown.
It was actually pretty busy out. You know white people can't keep their asses in the house when it snows!
The only place open in Chinatown to eat was a mexican joint. They got their coin that day, because motherfuckers were in there fucking up some burritos! Get into the cop trades! I said serve and protect! After we ate, we went to the movies to see 'Brothers'. It was good. It wasn't AMAZING, it was just good. I could give a good fuck what I saw really. I just wanted to get out of the house. Cabin fever is a bitch!
Yesterday I went to work. It took 2 damn hours for me to get there. I couldn't see staying past 5:30. After work I actually went to Chevy Chase and did some last minute shopping. I headed home to rest up. I had a birthday party to attend later on that night.
The party was at STIR. You know the drill, Top 40 music, girls in wristlets and shit!
It looked like a fake ass 'Belly' movie in there. It was cute for a snow night though. This chick tried to do me though. She was standing at my man's table. I asked her who she knew, and that bitch said, "Everybody in here". I said, "That's not true, cause I don't know you." She said, "We're part of the "Angels"." I said, "As in Victoria Secret (add a Sheree face)?" I shooed her ass over to the next table. I couldn't see her giving me attitude in a cheap shoe. If she were wearing a beat pump, then maybe? Bitch please! Take your Forever 21 5.7.9. Bakers shoe yaki weave wearing ass outta here. Tryna do me? Uhhhh Buh Bye! Tired ass groupie!
Short post today, I had writer's block earlier. I'm allowed. You guys aren't the boss of me!
Sorry I missed Dynasty Wednesday yesterday. I had to do some grown folks shit, ya'll don't know nothing about that.
Today's clip is a short one, but it trust that it still delivers. Here Alexis is being sent to jail for the murder of Krystle's ex, Mark Jennings. He apparently fell to his death from Alexis' balcony. Her ass was probably dangling him over the side like Michael Jackson dangled Blanket. At that moment she realized that it was time for her 2 p.m. outfit change, so she dropped his ass like Lil Wayne dropped Omarion from his label!
Can we talk about the dress she was arrested in? Who goes to jail in a Valentino red one shouldered couture gown? Get into her rant at the end of the clip, "Let me out of here!" She has to go down in history as one of the beatest television cunts. Well, right next to Dorothy from 'The Golden Girls', and Peggy Bundy from 'Married with Children'. Enjoy fuckers!
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NSFW...NSFW...NSFW...NSFW...NSFW...NSFW...NSFW...
Ok, you should all know my sense of humor by now. Nothing really offends me, or disgusts me in any way. I've pretty much seen it all, hell I'VE definitely said it all, but this next clip you're about to witness really takes the cake. When I first watched it, I was in awe. I couldn't believe that I was witnessing something so grimy urban disgusting rude and tasteless. Who's idea was this, because they deserve an Oscar!
Was he really doing an interview and fucking a girl at the same time? That's all I'm saying. Please don't watch this at work and get fired on my account, because I sure as hell don't have any goddamn money to give to your ass! Watch it shamefully at home, and hopefully the girl getting fucked by this tired ass rapper isn't your cousin or something.
(clears throat) So what did you guys do this weekend? Alright enough about you! My weekend started on Thursday after work. I went to a party at the Longview Gallery. It was cool. They had an amazing turnout. It wasn't ENOUGH for me though. These days you just can't throw a DJ in a room and call it a "party", I need more. What is going to set your event apart from the rest and make me remember your shit the next day after the hangover subsides.
I'm an old ho, I've been partying ever since I was 16. (pulling out abacus) So that makes 5 years (crickets). Anywho, I've been to parties all over and I need change, not for a dollar, but CHANGE in the party scene. Stay tuned for some upcoming shit from the crew and I. After the gallery party we went to Steve's Bar Room. I like the crowd there on Thursday. The space looks like a grandma's attic, but it's inviting. The people aren't stuck up or fake and pretentious. We boogied down to some 90's hip hop while doing some permanent damage to our livers. Patron is made in hell by the devil, I'm totally convinced. No alcohol should make you feel like that. The even more fucked up thing is that I continue to drink it. Now who's the weirdo?
After Steve's, we went to Shadowroom Thursdays. It was cool, just not my scene, you know? Fake ass bottle poppin' "niggas" in logo Gucci sneakers surrounded by a harem of sluts in fake Louboutins and bad weaves! The before...
...and the after. The next day dudes are calling their financing company asking for an extension on their car note because they popped to many bottles in the club trying to "one up" the next table. These wankstas are faker than silicone!
Cut to a shot of one of the security guards trying to get some pussy after the club. I couldn't see fucking for admission to a club? Well maybe if Nelly worked the door? So your shit is only worth $10/$20 after midnight/$15 with a college id? Tryna do me? I don't think so! (in club girl voice) Girl, he told me that if I sucked his dick reeeeaaaallll good that he would let me and both of ya'll in for free. Ummm hmmm, then he said that if I would tickle his balls with my tongue that we would get a free drink--not a piece, just one for us to share. (blank stare)
So the next day my ass slept until 3 pm. That patron had me on
some other shit! I woke up and got a haircut and went back to bed. I got up around 7 and started to get ready for a meeting with "the crew". My baby came to pick me up and dropped me off at the meeting secret location. I was home by midnight. I felt tired as hell, and I just knew I was going to sleep sooooo well. WRONG! My dumb ass didn't sleep a wink. I saw every fucking hour go by until my alarm went off at 6:30. I had to get up for work--now I felt tired!
I worked all day in a daze. It felt super surreal, like I was high or some shit! How was I going to tackle the events of the night? I had to meet the rest of my cast members from 'The Real Housecunts of DC' for the book club Christmas party. Thank God for prescription meds and wine, because without those I would have been down for the count.
9:48 p.m. light fare and cocktails with the girls at Masa 14. Nikki you wore the hell out of that red Herve by the way! You gave me hood Jessica Rabbit!
12:30 am: Editorial photo shoot on somebody's bike outside the restaurant with Jonathan and Fashion Mother.
1 am: Inside new club RECESS. They need to rename it "NAP TIME", because it was tired!
The Housecunts of DC' Season 2...
1:15 am: We just came inside to take pictures, and then we left. I couldn't see people saying that they saw us there and that we "appeared to be having fun". Fifteen minutes was enough for me in that dungeon they call a club. I saw a man in ENYCE. Where do you even find that anymore? Where did you even find it when it was so called "hot"?
After RECESS, we went to the "W" hotel rooftop. It used to be so nice there. Now it's turned into...into... How do I say this without being rude? Ummmm, well? Oh shit! A whole lot of Black people were there alright! Don't get wrong I looooovvveee MY people but it was the wrong crowd. I don't want to hear Jay Z in the Red Room at the "W", some nice lounge music will suffice.
After more editorial photo shooting, it was time to call it a night. I had to meet clients for Brunch in the morning. I set my alarm before I layed down for slumber. I guess I was so exhausted that I didn't even hear it. It was nothing but the Lord who tapped me on my shoulder and woke me up in time. I sped around my house trying to piece together an outfit to wear. I only had 45 minutes to coordinate accessories, shower, and cab it to restaurant. Somehow I pulled it off, I was only 15 minutes late (ok 25 minutes, but who was counting). We had an amazing brunch at the Cosmos Club, a members only restaurant where a jacket and tie were required to brunch. We sat and chatted for 3 hours.
After Brunch number one, I met the rest of the cast of 'The Real Housecunts of DC' for brunch number 2 at Lauriol Plaza. There we ate and chatted for a little over 4 hours. We saw one of our favorite waitresses there who told us that she was pregnant by a fake thug ass rapper, and that she had to leave her ex boyfriend because she though he was a "DL". She went through the history on his computer and caught him looking at trannies and white boys "pink booty holes" (that is exactly what she said, I'm not kidding!)
The last hour though we were stalking these two muscle queens who were on a date sitting behind us. We were getting in. Nikki and E were intrigued, and wanted to know who the "bottom" was. Lord knows I've taught these girls well!
After two brunches, I needed something to wash all that food down with...
Only God can judge me! Did I mention I have a 26 inch waist? Oh ok...
Happy Monday "Mongos" (please excuse the bad 'Precious' reference)!
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Thanks Ky'Leigh...
So "The Nightmare" (shakes head), I mean "The Dream" finally wed his beard Christina Milian. They had a Roman themed wedding. What self identifying "straight"male wears that to his wedding? It's Tom Ford and Alexander McQueen for crying out loud! They should have just gotten married at the Latex Ball in NY. I'm not mad at her for staking her claim and getting knocked up. If she knows like I know, her ass would have married in California! Can we all say "HALF STATE" together? Lord knows they aren't gonna stay together. I'm sure she knows he's a queen, and that the relationship will fizzle around summertime when he starts to tour the Black Gay Pride circuits. A queen in McQueen, how dreadful!
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Hey guys, does anyone remember Ashanti? You know baby, baby, baby (car doors slamming)? She's dating Nelly (cars speeding off)? Anyways she supposedly has a stalker. I guess the guy is a trainer. He has been sending lewd messages to her and members of her family. The messages have included pictures of his penis, and have described in detail things that he would do with her sexually.
I bet she hired this motherfucker to stalk her ass. What does Ashanti have to do, besides search for another hit record in the day with a flashlight? She has time for a stalker. I wouldn't have even called the Police if I were her, it would give her ass something to do. She hasn't even been out since 2002. What did the stalker do, take a time machine back 8 years? I just don't get it myself. Why would he want to stalk Ashanti, when it's beater cunts out to stalk like Beyonce and Rihanna and Maya Angelou? Ashanti though? She says words like "dope" and "ill", and it makes me feel uncomfortable.
Congratulations on your stalker Ashanti. You made the headlines once again, see you in 2020!
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Pharell is the beatest cunty trade EVER! He rocks a Birkin better than any woman I know. Get into him in the new Spring/Summer 2010 Christian Louboutins.
Oh, that bitch has the new sneaker too! FUCKING WHORE!!!!!!!!!
Let me just start off by saying, I'm hoping that was some good pussy, because your wife is about to be "broke off". It seems that everyday at least 2-3 women are coming out saying that they have had sex with you while you were married to your wife. Actually, damn? I may have had sex with you? I'm not saying it's unusual for men in sports to have affairs, but you have brought that pimp shit to the golf world. I think you may be the first.
Now Gatorade has pulled you from endorsing their products. You better start swinging some golf clubs real soon because your wife is gonna sue the shit out of you. I have a suggestion for you. I'm thinking that we'd all like to see you do the remix for 5o cents 'Baby by Me'. Now that would be hilarious. Hope your mother-in-law feels better.
P.S. Just in case you've forgotten, I have attached the names of all women who have come forth and said that you stuck your club in their hole.
Attachment: Hoes.dox
Best,
Q
Regards,
Quincy Jones
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For all you 'New Moon' fans, make sure you catch the wolf with the body Taylor Lautner on SNL this Saturday. Can you guys believe that motherfuckin movie has grossed over 500 million dollars worldwide? All of those damn tweens rushed the theatres to see Bella acting crazy jumping off cliffs and shit. She was going gaga over that vampire dick. I'm not mad at you Bella, some good dick will cloud your vision.
Anyways, Saturday night...
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I saw this man on the train on my way home last night. Doesn't he look like he's into some freak nasty S&M? Either that, or he likes to be fisted. You make the call. And yes I said "fisted" before noon. Shoot me!
Maybe it's the weather, or maybe Aunt Flo is making her monthly visit past my crib, but these past couple of days I haven't been in the best moods. Yesterday at work I definitely had a couple of Alexis moments. I was a bitch a roller blades. The "new girl" in my department asked me one too many questions yesterday. When I had too much I said, "Who are you, Alex Trebek?", and then I walked off without answering her. She's Vietnamese so I don't think she knows who Alex Trebek is, but it was funny to me.
Get into this scene where Krystle accuses Alexis of firing the gun that startled her house therefor making her lose her baby. The writers for this show had to be a bunch of queens, because who comes up with this shit? "You mean when she slapped me, so I tore off her wig and threw that, and her oscar through the french windows?" Every time I watch old clips of Dynasty, I look for Lady Gaga to jump out and perform 'Bad Romance'. So gay! Get in!
So I guess you guys really read my blog huh? You've noticed that my ass hasn't updated in well over a week. I've been on busy gay, let me tell ya! Between work, my fashion showing, my dear bf (who has been so understanding this week), buying accessories, skimming fashion mags, eating numerous dinners out, and being a bitch, I've had absolutely NO time to blog. I'm sorry, I'm here now, I'll never leave you for that long again.
Before I start this posting, let me say something to my first "blog hater". I guess I'm doing something right, because the people are talking. (stern look and pointing finger at computer screen) ...and If I find out that "you" (you know who you are) are the one that left that stupid
ass comment on my blog, I will kick yo muthafuckin' ass. As I've said before, I grew up in the suburbs, but I can get real hood all over that ass real quick. Don't try me! 'Mean Girls: "You can't sit with us!"
(whistling) Anywho, the past couple weeks has been a whirlwind. Let's start with Thanksgiving Eve dinner at Masa 14 with Jonathan and Nikki, two of my co-cast members of 'The Real Housecunts of DC'. We had a great meal. These shrimp were the bomb.
After dinner, we went to see...
Kim "Thank you Big Papa over jewels and Bentley "close your legs to married men" Nene's a moose Zolciak. She was performing her hit song (side eye) 'Tardy for the Party' at EFN lounge. There were more gays there than a Chris Brown concert! It was packed! She appeared to be on something though, like prescription pain killers or Nyquil and wine? I don't give a fuck though, she is the ruler of the land!
So you already know if we got together, we must do an editorial photo shoot...
This one should be part of the 'November issue non-color blocking story'. Black with pops of purple are all the rage for Fall! It's so over to just make up shit...
I just wanna know one thing? Who the fuck gon check us boo?
Iphones(check)!
After the gay invasion, we headed to Fly to party down with the "breeders". It was fun, we met up with my brother Borzou and friends. After the club, Manny and Olga's it is! Nothing says good night like greasy pizza and even greasier french fries.
While we were there, we saw Al B. Sure's cousin--Al B. Unsure.
We also caught this cunt out with ALL of this going on. I wanted to warn her not to stand so close to the oven in fear that her highly flammable garments would combust into flames. I decided not to though, I was sleepy and the next day was Thanksgiving.
Yummy! We had lots of turkey, stuffing, veggies,
and cakes.
Awww, and look at my dear sweet grand nephew Aiden. How adorable. He's like the best baby EVER! He hardly said a peep the whole time. Now I could have a baby like that. I would maybe consider having one of my own if someone taught them to change their own diapers. I mean, it shouldn't be that hard?
After Thanksgiving, I was thrown into 'Black Friday' work mode. It was the blower of the century! It wasn't our normal customer. They were all asking where the sale merchandise was. I politely told this lady that we weren't Best Buy. We don't have no damn door busters bitch! Kick rocks!
On Saturday, we had a birthday celebration to attend at...just guess! It seems that after I took Christian Louboutin there, ALL of DC are flocking to that place. Upon entrance I saw this man.
He looked like an Andy Dick impersonator "Andy Cock"? His 70's Hustler porno perm was over! We didn't stay for long. After Secret's we went to hang out with the breeders once more.
...not before we had a photo shoot in the bathroom with our furs--it was cold as hell that night. I actually wore two coats. It was over!
Last week was crunch week. Between work I nudged fittings for the models in my schedule. This is Pierre, he is the owner of Anthony one of the stores were I pulled men's looks from. He opened a bottle of wine for us, and showed us around.
After doing this at 6 other locations, we were reading for the Art/Fashion Showing. It was on last Thursday. We had an amazing turnout. There were Louboutins galore in the room. It ws one of the best looking crowds I'd seen in DC in a while. Here are only a couple of pic from the showing, trust that there will be many more to come!
A cute look from Betsey!
We even had dancers! Thanks Chris...
Here's another Chris. Happy 18th!
The models after the "All Black Everything" scene. It was sick!
(deep breath) Ok, so now do you guys see why I hadn't updated the blog? A bitch has been busy. You're only as good as your last party, so stay tuned for the next one...(wink)
I saw this nice little lady on the bus the other day. She had the beatest french roll. Remember the french roll? She looked like she had just left the salon getting it done. I bet she had a mean pot of greens cooking on the stove for her Sunday dinner the next day as well. "Come on in baby and get some of mama's faaaaaaamous fried chicken!"
Ocho Cinco? (clears throat) Ummm? (wipes brow with towel) Maybe? (loosens top button on shirt) I was just meaning to tell you that...(uses own hand to massage one side of neck)... Awww damn! Boy, I say your cover was lookin' suthin' kinda like a bomb! All in favor of him moving the book say "I". Boy, I say that body is sitting!
Speaking of sitting...This big bitch Aretha Franklin has really lost her mind! Why hasn't anybody put the 3 of them on 'The Biggest Loser'? When I say the three of them, I mean her and those two gigantic titties! God damn! Actually, I don't believe Michael Jackson died. I believe Aretha ate his ass in a fit of rage.
How many minks gave their lives so that Aretha may live? Then why was she carrying that damn Prada bag? It doesn't even go with anything? If I were at the Rockefeller tree lighting I would have tazed her, and temporarily put her out of her misery. Drop the biscuits Aretha!
So you can turn a ho into a housewife? It seems that Deelishis from 'Flavor of Love' is having another baby. I guess she has a man that is accepting of her slobbing down that burnt alien some people call Flavor Flav. I couldn't see kissing anyone after their lips had touched his. That is waaaay gross, it makes me wanna throw.
The good thing about Deelishis being pregnant is that at least for 9 months her stomach will protrude just like her gargantuan ass does. (blank stare)
A cute look from Betsey!
I saw this nice little lady on the bus the other day. She had the beatest french roll. Remember the french roll? She looked like she had just left the salon getting it done. I bet she had a mean pot of greens cooking on the stove for her Sunday dinner the next day as well. "Come on in baby and get some of mama's faaaaaaamous fried chicken!" 
